Pappa wants mamma naked
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize