And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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