no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
