I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
