my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
