When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
