...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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