HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
