i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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