Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
