So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
