clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
