We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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