i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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