I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
