she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
