i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
