Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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