protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
