Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
