i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
