I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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