Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize