You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
