I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
