you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
