He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
