Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
