I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
