I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
