I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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