so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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