I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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