Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
