his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
