i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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