Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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