Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
