I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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