I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
