Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize