I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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