how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
