its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
