Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
