the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
