we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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