i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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