why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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