Michael Bay diarrhea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
