The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
