she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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