You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
