thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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