You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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