Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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