as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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