I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
