so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
