I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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