oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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